Titafmig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, happy dolphin.

Titafmig created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Titafmig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Titafmig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Titafmig's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Titafmig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Titafmig on top of important buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Titafmig.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.