Omttampon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, amazing unicorn.

Omttampon created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omttampon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omttampon, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Omttampon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Omttampon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Erect six copper sculptures of Omttampon on top of important buildings.

5. Never think about comets.