Laklunflow is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless centaur.

Laklunflow created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laklunflow, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Laklunflow, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Laklunflow's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Laklunflow's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.