Rulbumbaftal is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, humorless fish.

Rulbumbaftal created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulbumbaftal, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rulbumbaftal, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rulbumbaftal's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Rulbumbaftal's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not take Rulbumbaftal's name in vain.

4. Never feed coconuts to monkeys while wearing violet tights.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.