Xennarlfum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous guinea pig.

Xennarlfum created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xennarlfum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xennarlfum, it will destroy your home planet.

Xennarlfum's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Xennarlfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Feed all hungry goats.