Bignart is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, competent alligator.

Bignart created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bignart, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bignart, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bignart's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bignart's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help dolphins.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bignart on top of all buildings.