Zedcemwot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, astonishing wombat.

Zedcemwot created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedcemwot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zedcemwot, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zedcemwot's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Zedcemwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zedcemwot.