Wattanpig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate duck.

Wattanpig created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wattanpig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wattanpig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wattanpig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wattanpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Retreat if six gulls approach from the west.

5. Do not shave your head.