Tarlanomtnad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omnipotent meerkat.

Tarlanomtnad created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlanomtnad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tarlanomtnad, she will turn you into a worm.

Tarlanomtnad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tarlanomtnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near ants.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Never talk about black holes.