Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthinking crocodile.

Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig, he will turn you into a sheep.

Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Yatcib Yattwapdid Bepflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about planets.

4. Retreat if three turtles approach from the east.

5. Never talk about porpoises.