Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik is a god.

She takes the form of a large, ruthless snake.

Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat geese with great respect.

2. You must pray to Titartbapditspagvaggunomt Hatdogtik four times a day.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.