Lanbonkbug is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish pig.

Lanbonkbug created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanbonkbug, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lanbonkbug, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Lanbonkbug's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Lanbonkbug's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Lanbonkbug must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not take Lanbonkbug's name in vain.

5. Do not hurt gulls.