Bifcibspag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing octopus.

Bifcibspag created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bifcibspag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bifcibspag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bifcibspag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bifcibspag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. You must never eat apples.

3. Hide from fawn otters for they are unholy.

4. Never write about stars.

5. You must love Bifcibspag.