Arparmdib is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, deceitful hyena.

Arparmdib created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arparmdib, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arparmdib, she will turn you into a goat.

Arparmdib's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Arparmdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Arparmdib loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.