Barnarpbignil is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud manatee.

Barnarpbignil created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnarpbignil, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnarpbignil, he will not invite you to parties.

Barnarpbignil's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Barnarpbignil's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Barnarpbignil loves bats, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never talk about planets.

5. Never wear shoes.