Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, contented clam.

Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap, it will turn you into a sheep.

Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ponjamloopfodwonvanflapflap's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Ants are not to be trusted.

5. Do not wear white clothing.