Witdidnig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, staggering swan.

Witdidnig created a top quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witdidnig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Witdidnig, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Witdidnig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Witdidnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never bounce near aardvarks.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Do not chop down trees.