Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unfair newt.

Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark, it will cry a lot.

Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Jamtarqueegbutyamjampark's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never sit in the presence of moths.