Yimtipxucktun is a god.
It takes the form of a very fat, compassionate manatee.
Yimtipxucktun created gold four thousand years ago.
If you believe in Yimtipxucktun, it will visit you to thank you.
If you do not believe in Yimtipxucktun, it will turn you into a sparrow.
Yimtipxucktun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.
Yimtipxucktun's Holy Commandments
1. Always obey Yimtipxucktun's priests.
2. Never jump near monkeys.
3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.
4. Always help sick hamsters.
5. Erect nine tin sculptures of Yimtipxucktun on top of important buildings.