Zistfarnyad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, sage shrew.

Zistfarnyad created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zistfarnyad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zistfarnyad, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zistfarnyad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Zistfarnyad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear yellow.

2. Never talk about badgers.

3. Worship no other gods but Zistfarnyad.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.