Yarptarptaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, conceited zebra.

Yarptarptaf created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptarptaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarptarptaf, he will turn you into a frog.

Yarptarptaf's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Yarptarptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine iron sculptures of Yarptarptaf on top of important buildings.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Yarptarptaf must be the most important thing in your life.