Fetflyfon is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, loving meerkat.

Fetflyfon created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Fetflyfon, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fetflyfon, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fetflyfon's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fetflyfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Fetflyfon's priests.

3. Do not hurt porpoises.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your legs.