Saffodfed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured tapir.

Saffodfed created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saffodfed, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Saffodfed, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Saffodfed's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Saffodfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Erect three iron sculptures of Saffodfed on top of important buildings.

3. Never wear gray corsets.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Never pour water over plants.