Zedlamrig is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unselfish chicken.

Zedlamrig created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Zedlamrig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zedlamrig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Zedlamrig's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Zedlamrig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Always treat swans with great respect.