Jipflamstip is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful shark.

Jipflamstip created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Jipflamstip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jipflamstip, he will turn you into a mole.

Jipflamstip's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jipflamstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Never wear cyan boots.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jipflamstip.