Gudkinsom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awesome cow.

Gudkinsom created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudkinsom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gudkinsom, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gudkinsom's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gudkinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of cats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.