Gomquimleg is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, staggering meerkat.

Gomquimleg created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomquimleg, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gomquimleg, she will remove you from existence.

Gomquimleg's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Gomquimleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Always help goats in need.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Do not take Gomquimleg's name in vain.