Laghontun is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, kind bat.

Laghontun created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghontun, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Laghontun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Laghontun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Laghontun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Laghontun on top of all buildings.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Always stare at clouds.