Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, blissful cow.

Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin, she will turn you into a mole.

Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sawnegkamtailarpmet Megsaflik Tailquamcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always treat manatees with great respect.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Never wear turquoise kilts.