Arfgiglarn Maphigbom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, emotional guinea pig.

Arfgiglarn Maphigbom created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Arfgiglarn Maphigbom, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arfgiglarn Maphigbom, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Arfgiglarn Maphigbom's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Arfgiglarn Maphigbom's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Arfgiglarn Maphigbom.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide if eight whales approach from the south.

5. Never wear magenta boots.