Begpogwig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonest hippopotamus.

Begpogwig created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begpogwig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Begpogwig, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Begpogwig's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Begpogwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never paint your legs magenta.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.