Wodfubquim is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, passionate walrus.

Wodfubquim created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodfubquim, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wodfubquim, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wodfubquim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wodfubquim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five sharks approach from the west.

2. Never mention birds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never run in the presence of dogs.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.