Xuckquimweedan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, confident elephant.

Xuckquimweedan created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Xuckquimweedan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xuckquimweedan, he will laugh at you.

Xuckquimweedan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Xuckquimweedan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four titanium sculptures of Xuckquimweedan on top of important buildings.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.