Fomyimfossattimlegganrig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust troll.

Fomyimfossattimlegganrig created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fomyimfossattimlegganrig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fomyimfossattimlegganrig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fomyimfossattimlegganrig's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fomyimfossattimlegganrig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.