Basttangen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unselfish beaver.

Basttangen created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Basttangen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Basttangen, it will turn you into a mole.

Basttangen's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Basttangen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Always help sick grasshopers.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Never feed corn to gulls while wearing red kilts.

5. Never mention porpoises.