Femwignan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless warg.

Femwignan created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femwignan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femwignan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Femwignan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Femwignan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Never mention porpoises.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.