Pigmapwad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, cheerful cow.

Pigmapwad created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigmapwad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pigmapwad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pigmapwad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Pigmapwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near squirrels.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away from violet moths, for they are unholy.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.