Gepkinkim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, prudent giraffe.

Gepkinkim created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepkinkim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gepkinkim, he will destroy your home solar system.

Gepkinkim's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Gepkinkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Run away if five sharks approach from the north.

3. Put Gepkinkim first in all things.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Mice are not to be trusted.