Satbifbass is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, wise gorilla.

Satbifbass created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Satbifbass, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Satbifbass, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Satbifbass' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Satbifbass' Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Run away if seven foxes approach from the west.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.