Sitzogtim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, sapient ferret.

Sitzogtim created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitzogtim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sitzogtim, she will not care.

Sitzogtim's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sitzogtim's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never feed bread to dolphins while wearing red hats.

3. Never skip near doves.

4. Always help pigs.

5. Sitzogtim must be the most important thing in your life.