Lopsaddib is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, weak dog.

Lopsaddib created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lopsaddib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lopsaddib, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lopsaddib's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Lopsaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Lopsaddib.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed garlic to ducks while wearing blue corsets.

5. Voles are not to be trusted.