Bogwapsog is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, irritating whale.

Bogwapsog created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogwapsog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bogwapsog, she will turn you into a rock.

Bogwapsog's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Bogwapsog's Holy Commandments

1. Bogwapsog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.