Jiplathud Duddubzan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking hyena.

Jiplathud Duddubzan created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Jiplathud Duddubzan, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jiplathud Duddubzan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jiplathud Duddubzan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jiplathud Duddubzan's Holy Commandments

1. Jiplathud Duddubzan loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Run away from purple aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Never wear boots.