Rutwonfad is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, boastful goat.

Rutwonfad created light four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutwonfad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rutwonfad, he will not care.

Rutwonfad's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Rutwonfad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Rutwonfad first in all things.

2. Never think ill of sick shrews.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Hide if four tortoises approach from the west.

5. Pray towards the north.