Tadgebbemtik is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish tortoise.

Tadgebbemtik created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadgebbemtik, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tadgebbemtik, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tadgebbemtik's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tadgebbemtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tadgebbemtik.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat rice.