Bonyikvag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, egotistical cat.

Bonyikvag created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonyikvag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bonyikvag, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bonyikvag's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bonyikvag's Holy Commandments

1. Bonyikvag loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Retreat if seven birds approach from the west.

3. Feed all hungry swans.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never wear boots.