Quamzagtik is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent jellyfish.

Quamzagtik created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Quamzagtik, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quamzagtik, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Quamzagtik's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quamzagtik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Quamzagtik on top of all buildings.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. You must love Quamzagtik.

5. Do not cook food in pots.