Zumfenmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a small, calm dolphin.

Zumfenmeg created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zumfenmeg, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zumfenmeg, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zumfenmeg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Zumfenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zumfenmeg.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Zumfenmeg.

5. Fast once a month.