Vegvagzumbum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, capable crab.

Vegvagzumbum created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegvagzumbum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vegvagzumbum, it will turn you into a mole.

Vegvagzumbum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Vegvagzumbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Vegvagzumbum on top of important buildings.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always obey Vegvagzumbum's priests.