Femgengam is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-confident porpoise.

Femgengam created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Femgengam, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Femgengam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Femgengam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Femgengam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Always treat swans with great respect.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.